This one is a little indecent...

First,  I think I figured it out why I was so hesitant to make a blog. I think it is because they seem like a vanity project or some way to hog the spot light all on your own in a way that facebook and twitter won't allow because everybody else is always posting their own crap. I like facebook and I suppose this writing and what not is fun, but I figured out why it bothers me. I am afraid to tell my friends because then I think they will not want to read because it looks like a blatant attempt to be an attention whore. And I don't want this to be that kind of a place. This is going to be an oasis of awesome and superdy-duper-ness. This is my plea unto you, fair reader, that wherever it seems like I am being needy or like I am looking for attention, please don't hesitate to call me on my bullshit. I promise that this will be nothing less than cool.

I recently learned that if you break a pinkie-promise, it means the breaker of the promise must cut off their pinkie. I like my pinkie. It suits me quite well and I don't wish to part from it any time soon.

So now that whole shebang is cleared up, I had a thought on the way home from my class today. There was some guy walking across the street. I had never seen him before and I figured he probably lived in the house that never has any lights on. Sort of like a house that Chad's unassuming parents would live in. Anyhoo this guy was walking across the street and I like to be rude and shout at people when I am driving by myself and all the windows are up and no one is around to judge me or hear me so I had to slow down, quite a significant bit, and wait for this guy to hustle across the street. It's not a very large street and it was quite obvious there was a car waiting for this gent to pass. I can understand being old and not being able to move as quick as one used to, but a little quick-step in that shuffle would have been nice. In the end I guess it doesn't matter and honestly I had no issue waiting for this guy to pass, I just like to be impertinent. So, there I am, waiting as he passed in front of me and there he was probably waiting for his feet to catch up when I had the urge to pretend to be a cab driver and shout some insult in the safety of my car. I got as far as "Move it, old--" and then I got stuck. This is the transcript of my mental conversation, as follows:

Old......what? Guy? No, that won't work, how about cracker? No, that won't do, I use that too often. Wait, there's something trying to work it's way forward, it begins with an....F? Yes, F. I'm trying to say old....fucker? No no no, that's too mean and quite frankly too easy. It's F...O...Fo...Fogey! That's it! Old Fogey! Move it, Old Fogey!!



This is Josiah Fogey, patron saint of old crabby dudes 
and crotchety outbursts at the youth of today.

By that time I had made it back to my driveway and the fellow down the street had crossed it successfully. The thought I mentioned was that I quite enjoy the term "old fogey" and wish that it was applicable to more everyday situations.

I apologize of course if anyone found that to be offensive, but let's be honest, we all are indecent asshats when we are alone. It's that damn societal nonsense that tells us we can't shout "Old Fogey" and gentlemen, who quite frankly could be genuinely kind people and are just innocently crossing the street. Like I have stated before, I am not what one might call active so the shouting at people in the car is my form of catharsis. I like shouting at people. Especially when they are stupid (unlike the old guy from the previous story), because let's face it, if we don't shout at them in the security of our cars then they may never be called out on their bullshit.

No, I will not put a picture of Ryan Gosling. Instead I will put this: