In Response To The Influx of Red-Striped Quadrilaterals

So there's this debate thingy happening up in D.C. right now. You may have heard of Prop 8 and DOMA. If not, you are a hermit or illiterate. Someone will come by shortly to beat you soundly with the information stick. For the rest of you, pro or against, I have a story to tell. It's mine. I should start off with saying that I am straight, I think that helps with understanding my perspective on things. I have mentioned before that I was raised Catholic. I went to a small, tight-knit Catholic school in Houston with a heavy Hispanic influence. So, if you ask how Catholic I was raised, I can answer without hesitation I was raised all-Catholic. I remember as a child being surprised that there were other religions. Knowing that I am straight and from a heavy Catholic background, you would assume that I am in the "gays are an abomination camp". That is assuming you haven't read any of my previous posts, which are, for lack of a better word, blasphemous. Also, I'm pretty sure they have some grammatical issues.

oooooo a gif!! How fancy!

Anyhoo, the story. So, I'm in this school my whole life with people I know about as well as my family and we grow and become friends and get in fights and all that jazz. Part of the problem with growing up in a familiar group of people is that you can become comfortable doing things a certain way and then not realize that it's time to change. In this instance, I am speaking of my tendency to behave more like a boy than a girl. See, the thing about me is that I am the first girl in my family. In my generation at least. On my mother's side, there are three cousins, all boys, then my older brother, and then miraculously I was born. I was doted on and fawned over, at least that's what I'm told, because I am an oasis in the midst of gross, stinky boys. What I don't understand is why no one figured that I'd prefer to play with Hot Wheels and Legos rather than Barbies what with my influences clearly laid out. I tried to emulate my big brother and I preferred to play in the dirt outside than play with make-up. I did do these things when I was younger, but for the most part pink was yucky and Barbies were evil. All of my friends knew that at school. I chose shorts over skirts and liked to run around with boys and dig for bugs. This isn't a bad thing, it's just a set up for the self-esteem issues later.

WARNING: We are about to get personal up in here!

See, I was more comfortable being like a little boy for the longest time and it had become, I assume, something that was understood. Then that evil bitch puberty came around and all of a sudden all of my friends were talking about which boys they liked and the number of people I played with in the dirt got smaller. People are all of a sudden talking about who they like and then pairing off. I didn't get it, and I especially didn't understand what was so damned attractive about having a boyfriend. Everything was perfectly fine the way it was, but hormones had to go and muck it all up. Thanks a bunch, hormones.

Anything with a diagram should be mistrusted.

So I stayed how I was. If a term must be applied to my situation, I guess you could use the god-awful phrase  "tom-boy" that makes bile rise in my throat, but I suppose it simplifies things. What usually accompanies this time of raging hormones is this need to be incredibly nasty to your peers. Gossip and jealousy and rumors and peer-pressure and all of these viscious behaviors start flying around and the only way out is high school, and not even that can save you. Around fourth or fifth grade, we were introduced to a couple of new students. We would occasionally welcome an alien or two into our class, but it was a rare thing. Anyhoo, these new kids came in around the time we were all really ramping up for the Big Change. And then there was me, changing along with everybody, but confusedly so because just yesterday boys were icky and cooties were real. These new kids didn't grow up with me, they didn't know me, and my boy-ish behavior was taboo; out of the ordinary. I became a target. In the midst of all this shit came the idea that boys had to like girls and vice versa. But I didn't show an interest in boys and I liked to play Army, so what did I like. I couldn't have told ya, but the decision was made for me so I didn't have to worry about it. The concept of gay and lesbian came about. One of my friends, someone I admire a whole bunch today, was incredibly effeminate so I wasn't alone in my victimization, but it was to a lesser extent I think. Especially since in fifth grade I had my first boyfriend. I was so happy to have a buffer against the attacks, so it certainly helped me out. They didn't stop though. One day in gym, my friend I mentioned earlier came up and told me that one of the boys (that I still considered new, but had been there for awhile) had called me "faggot". I laugh about this now because you and I both know he was using the word wrong, but at the time I knew what he was saying and it hurt. It had put what I assume everyone else was thinking out in the open. And it started me out on this really hard path.

I had a boyfriend, fine, but I was still stuck because the attraction to the opposite gender was a mystery to me. In seventh grade, I had moved to a completely new state to be in a school with completely new people, and there I was really taboo. So I continued to struggle, internally, because these new ideas were being flung around, and I seemed stuck. I was told I didn't like boys, which was true, so that meant I liked girls, which might have been true because that was the conclusion a lot of people had made. It just didn't make sense to me, so I thought it was wrong. So, what? I don't like either, so then I like both? There was this constant, cyclical tug-of-war pushing and pulling at me for years and it was killing me. I eventually found that boys are pretty dang cute, it just took me longer than usual. But I learned something:

After years of having "lesbian" and "gay" thrown at me as slurs, I found that, even though those words don't apply to me, I understand the hurt that comes with being derided that way. When I still considered myself Catholic, I learned that we believed that gays couldn't be married because God said no. And that made no sense to me.

If you are religious in any manner and find yourself on the anti-gay marriage side of the debate, I ask you read this next part with an open mind: in all my years of school and church, one lesson stood out among all the others and even though I am not religious today, I still apply it to everyday life because it is a great lesson. Jesus taught that we must love our neighbor as our self and treat others the way we want to be treated. I was derided as someone who was actually homosexual, and for me to tell them they couldn't marry who they wanted or live how they wanted would be the same as telling me that I couldn't. Jesus was talking about everyone, not everybody except people who happened to like someone of the same sex. To tell the truth, I think if Jesus could see how wonderful the people I know who are gay, he could give a crap who they have sex with. They live their lives in a much more Christian manner than some Christians I know.

They are also more fabulous than some Christians I know.

I was raised Catholic and I am straight and I am an Ally to the Gay Marriage movement. It isn't an abomination to love someone, it is an abomination to tell someone that they are loving the wrong person. I could never find it in my heart that it was right to tell anyone, straight, gay, or otherwise, that the person they loved with every fiber of their being is a sin and they will go to hell for loving them. I was made fun of for not liking boys when I was growing up and as an adult I am watching friends being told to stop liking boys. I learned that it is not anyone else's right to decide who you love. All you have to do is treat them with respect, because you want to be treated with respect, right?

The Queen commands it!

Before I leave, I have to address the Leviticus passage. If you don't know it, it is this little number "You shall not be with a man as one does with a woman. It is an abomination." That would be Leviticus Chapter 18 verse 22. Delightful no? In Chapter 20, we learn that such behavior is punishable by death.

Here is the thing about Leviticus. By the way, this is information I learned in my college World Religions class. Granted, it was an intro class, but I'm not just picking it up from Wikipedia. Leviticus is where the majority of Jewish law comes from. It's where you get rules like no meat and dairy together, no pork, no shellfish, among others. I once saw a picture of the above passage tattooed on someone's arm. Ironically, Leviticus also says no tattoos, so that guy messed up big.

This guy knows what I'm talking about!

 In the Jewish faith, at its basic, it is a religion of laws and rules. Follow the rules, and you are golden. On the opposite side, though based off those rules, Christianity is more a religion of faith and seeking salvation. One is literal, the other is metaphorical is a simple way to look at it. Make no mistake, I am not demeaning either religion, it is just a basic analysis. Christians kind of diverged from those rules in Leviticus a long time ago. They wear mixed fibers and eat bacon and say the savior has come already, a big no-no if you are Jewish. If you are going to preach Leviticus, fine, by all means. But don't shout about it and then go home to a cheeseburger. That argument is already kind of null and void simply by you being a Christian.

So that's what I got on this whole thing. Hope you don't hate me. If you do, then you should try to be a little more understanding of the concept of "everyone has a right to their own opinion". Toodles.