My cat is missing. For a lot of people, this statement is inconsequential and unimportant. For others, their hearts may have just dropped. I'm with the second group. Otherwise, I wouldn't deem it important enough to mention. For a pet to be missing for me is like a child to be missing. Not to say that people are less important, I just find that some of my more meaningful relationships have been with animals. Which is sort of sad to admit to but that's part of the reason I like animals better than people. For an awkward and shy kid, people are the worst thing ever. People are judgmental and cruel. They question why you like to play by yourself or prefer boy stuff to girls stuff or why you play with imaginary friends. I liked to play by myself and I had imaginary friends because of stupid people asking their stupid questions and they couldn't stay on script. When the world is danger of being destroyed by a giant rhino-squid-bear and the only person who can stop it is Mad Dr. Lucy and her powerful serum or when the ship is in the middle of a fearsome battle over some precious booty and Captain Lucy needs all hands on deck, it is friggin' imperative to stay on task and not try to steal the limelight. Regular people do that, but imaginary friends are always on mark. Oh, and boys always have the cooler toys for some reason. Fuck Barbie.
I've always thought Barbies prepare girls for a more dependent role in life.
Legos prepare you for...ummm...the dangers of public transportation.
Animals don't give a crap what you play with. They don't care if you're awkward around people you don't know and they don't expect you to speak to them. You ever met somebody who was so obviously making their own assessment of you at first glance but they were smiling this giant fake smile as though you might have some mental deficiency and won't notice? I meet these people a lot. Granted, I may just be jumping to conclusions, but I know I'm weird and I know how people think of me. Outside my group of friends, I stick out like a sore thumb. The point is, you know when these people don't like you but they are actively trying to hide it. Animals don't do that. If you meet a new dog, you let it sniff you and if dog is okay with you then the dog will let you pet it. If it doesn't like you, you will know because you will be trying to pry it's jaws off your hand. Simple and direct.
"You are not very nice. Also, you smell like trout."
The other great thing about pets is that they are by far the best friends you will ever have. They will listen to all your trivial bullshit and they put up with all your drama. All they ask in return is food and a pat on the head. They are the best therapists. That's been proven time and again by science. There's a reason that there are programs for pets visiting patients in the hospital, it's because it is medically proven to help the patients emotionally and occasionally physically. If you are a good pet owner, your pets will love you unconditionally and they will show you complete adoration. When I start fighting crime, the first group of people I'm going after are the ones that show up on Animal Cops.
How do people look at this and think "Oh, tiny punching bag!"? It's too fucking cute!
If a dog is happy, you will know. If a cat is pissed you will definitely know. My experience with rodents and birds is limited but I'm sure the same rules apply. They are easy to love and wonderful buddies. I have lost a few pets over the years and every time it feels like a punch in the stomach. I've been to funerals for people and there's only been one that I cried as hard as I did for any one of those pets. Steve, you get your ass back home right now so I can hug the bejeezus out of you.
He's the orange cat. The other one is his sister Mistletoe. She's....kinda dumb. But aren't they cute?
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